


Struggle

by VisionaryGalaxy



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angry Alec Lightwood, Arguing, Communication, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I've written worse, Jealous Jace Wayland, M/M, What is this?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-27
Updated: 2017-10-27
Packaged: 2019-01-23 20:18:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12515720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VisionaryGalaxy/pseuds/VisionaryGalaxy
Summary: Jace gets jealous after meeting with Magnus to retrieve Clary's memories because he flirts with Alec, results in communication I guess.Or alternately I write an indulgent story out of nowhere. literally why did I write this?





	Struggle

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this in an hour during class *sighs* might be worst thing I've done Idk  
> Also clary gets her memories and Alec doesn't mess up the circle demon thing.

They had just left Magnus’ building when Alec felt a hand grip his arm and slam him into the wall just outside the apartment complex. He tensed but calmed when he looked into the angry eyes of his parabatai glaring at him with a death grip on his shoulders. Ever the minder, Alec ignored Jace for a moment in order to track the movements of Izzy and Clary. Clary was starring at them wide-eyed and startled, making Alec unable to avoid a feeling of satisfaction at her surprise of his behaviour. Izzy was already leading her away with a nod to Alec which he returned.

A growl and tightening pressure had Alec turning back to Jace, if possible he had gone from angry to furious at Alec’s blatant attempt to ignore him, no matter how briefly.

“What the hell was that Alec?” Jace’s eyes glittered dangerously as though Alec had committed some horrific betrayal of his parabatai. Alec felt his own anger simmering to the surface and he wondered how much of it was left over from Jace. But really his irritation stemmed from how utterly unfair this was, especially since he had been putting up with shit from the man he was supposed to love for several days.

Alec shoved Jace away from him and was satisfied to see a moment of surprise from him, before his face set back in its angry expression. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he snapped, cringing slightly from the cliché. But he _didn’t_ know. He had been perfectly polite during the meeting, even when they used a bloody demon to retrieve Clary’s memories. There was no reason for his anger and he was sick of being attacked like this.

“That warlock-” Jace began, but Alec cut him off instantly.

“Magnus Bane.”

Jace narrowed his eyes, “The fuck Alec? Do you think just because we’re fighting you can flirt with some warlock that just wants to get into you pants!?”

Alec starred dumbfounded at Jace. For a moment he thought his brain had short-circuited because not only did he absolutely not flirt with Magnus, but that was entirely hypocritical considering how things had been with Clary the past few days. Yet all he managed was a strangled, “What?”

Jace snorted and stepped forward again, this time he didn’t hesitate to press Alec back against the wall, aligning their bodies together. He leaned in and stretched up so he could whisper in Alec’s ear, “Let me be perfectly clear love, no matter how pissed I am at you, no matter how pissed you are at me, we belong to each other.” He punctuated the growled words with constant pressure on their parabatai runes.

For one short moment Alec was tempted to just close his eyes, let it go, and maybe even encourage the direction this appeared to be going, if the bulge in Jace’s pants were any indication. But it only lasted a short moment before the hypocrisy rubbed him the wrong way yet again. So taking a fortifying breath Alec raised his hands and firmly pushed Jace away by the shoulders. Confusion covered Jace’s face, not surprising really since Alec’s pants were just as tented, but as always Jace accepted the push leaving a careful space between them.

“Alec?” For the first time tonight, Angel’s for the first time in days Jace didn’t look angry or exasperated. He was worried and scared Alec realized and he knew better than anyone how stupid he could act when he felt that way. The display from moments ago of jealousy and possession was a prime example, so the fear he realized might be about what Alec was gonna say, and that wasn’t fair.

“I’m angry.” Alec swallowed roughly, he wasn’t good at this but the strain on their bond had become too much. He needed Jace to understand just this once why he couldn’t look Clary in the eye or treat her as reverently as Jace, or else they were gonna end up in a heartbreaking cycle. He had seen it happen to parabatai couples before and he could imagine nothing worse. Alec could not, _would_ not stay with him if he had to watch him love Clary.

Jace opened his mouth but Alec waved him silent. His mouth snapped shut and Alec could see something akin to dread building in his eyes, and Alec cursed Jace’s father who taught him to fear love, because even if Jace was falling in love with Clary he knew Jace loved him, he could feel it in the bond. That didn’t make this any easier.

“I’m angry at you Jace because not only have you been putting our lives at risk for some random girl-” Irritation sparked in Jace’s eyes, but he plowed ahead. “But also because I can feel that you have a connection to her, even though I don’t know what it is.” Jace started to shake his head suddenly, terror echoed through the bond, and Alec winced and instinctively sent comfort through to him.

“I feel that you are drawn to her and I fucking hate it cause I can’t stop it and you are running head first into it.” Alec blinked back tears quickly, and ignored the way Jace was gripping his own arms like it was the only way he could keep himself from reaching out to Alec. “I’m losing you and then you start doing things like what you just did and its not ok. You do not get to accuse me of being unfaithful, for fucking smiling, when we both know I did nothing wrong and its been you pulling away from me.”

It was Jace’s turn to stare dumbfounded. Its expected really, Alec almost never talks that much or is so open, it wasn’t their style. He was definitely feeling the affects as well, his breathing was harsh and the tears he was holding stung. Alec waited for Jace to say something, he didn’t know what he wanted to hear but definitely not silence. Unfortunately, Jace appeared to be speechless.

That terror was still there as he reached out, and Alec allowed him one hand stretched far. “I’m sorry.” It was wreaked but there. “l-” Alec was slightly comforted that Jace was trying to do _something_.

“You felt that?” Alec starred for a moment, not expecting that. Jace was now half hopeful, “You felt the draw?”

Alec swallowed and tried to push back his disappointment. “Only through you, but yeah.”

Jace suddenly moved forward through his arms around Alec and shocked, he automatically brought up his arms to hug him tightly sensing the tumultuous emotions from his parabatai.

“I’m so sorry Alec, fuck I didn’t realize. I felt the draw but it wasn’t me I didn’t want it still don’t, and I don’t know what it is because it fucking terrifies me, and I thought if I helped her it would fade, but then you were mad and I was losing,” Jace gasped for air, “I was losing you but didn’t know what to do,” he was babbling desperately, and Alec could barely keep up. “I was scared to explain because I didn’t…I don’t want you to think I was gonna leave you for her because I would never leave you, I would die first but then I was losing you and that warlock was flirting and you were smiling and it became so real for a second I couldn’t take it. I hate the draw I feel because what its doing to us.”

Jace was breathing heavily, there were tears and he was gripping Alec like he was scared he might die if he let go. Alec was stunned for a moment, hands automatically running up and down his back soothingly like he had done millions of times before. Angel’s how did things get so messed up? Jace had been afraid to tell him because he believed Alec would think he loved Clary. But Alec himself had been too cowardly to confront him and the result was what they had been trying to avoid.

Finally, Alec focused on Jace who was still struggling and tried his best to sooth him. “shh Jace shh…Its ok, I believe you I swear shh.” He began to calm and squeezed Alec tighter.

“I swear on my life Alec, I don’t love her, I would never leave you.”

“I know, I know, I love you.”

They stood together in the alley for several minutes, they could practically feel their bond strengthening as they finally got on the same page. And around whispered I love you’s and promises of working it out together Alec spared a thought for Magnus Bane whom he would need to thank for unintentionally setting them right.


End file.
